


i want (to be by your side)

by tonyhhello



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Bones, Burns, Cuddling, Hospitals, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kisses, Langa’s Mom is a Milf, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Nanjo Kojiro is a Dad, Pining, Rejection, Skating, Soft Kisses, idk what else tell me if i should tag smth else !!, injuries, joe and reki have a Talk, joe is renga’s number 1 fan, langa gets kinda wrecked, listen they’re standing up but i count it as cuddling, lol, lots of it as expected, not actually but u know what i mean, oh boy ok let’s go, shes not even a big character but still, this is a renga and matchablossom fic it is so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyhhello/pseuds/tonyhhello
Summary: langa had a crush on reki.no, that wouldn’t do. langa was in love with reki.orthey make up they finally fucking make up
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki, Hasegawa Nanako & Kyan Reki, Kyan Reki & Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, but not like very much sorry, their relationship is very important to me - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 208





	i want (to be by your side)

**Author's Note:**

> hi besties i’m back on my bullshit with another angsty renga fic   
> this is my first time writing 5k+ words in a fic and i’m like really proud of myself help   
> um what else do i say please enjoy !! i tried my best with the communicating part but i’m not very good at writing that so 
> 
> what the fuck is a timeline lol
> 
> tw : moms , hospitals , injuries ( 2nd degree burns , broken bones ) passing out

langa had a crush on reki.

no, that wouldn’t do. langa was in love with reki. 

this hadn’t come as a surprise to him. it was just the way the world worked, like how the sky was blue, or how skating was the second best thing ever. 

langa didn’t mind having this crush, it didn’t impact he and reki’s relationship too much, because loving reki was like breathing. it was natural, langa didn’t have to think about it (some days), it was just the way of the world. langa was in love with reki, and that was that. 

he didn’t like to think about reki’s feelings for him, mostly because they didn’t exist. whenever thoughts like those wiggled out of the the wall langa had put up in his mind, his chest started to ache and his head started to hurt. 

it didn’t feel nice, so langa tried not to think about it. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


except he thought about it a lot.

langa didn’t really… think much. not unless he really wanted too. sure, he was quiet, and people often thought he looked instead of talked. but he didn’t.

he thought about things he enjoyed, things that had caught his attention. things like skateboarding, and miya and joe and cherry and shadow and adam. but mostly reki.

langa thought about his hair, how red it was and how the sun reflected off of it, making it look like strawberries in the summer. about his eyes, which were bright and amber, like syrup, shining brighter than any star langa ever saw. about his smile, wide and happy and beautiful. 

reki smiling was one of langa’s favorite things in the world. 

how reki was so good at skateboarding, moves flowing and natural and intense in the best way. he did it the way he did everything, enthusiastic and determined. 

langa loved that about reki. he loved everything about reki. but how could reki love him? he was just… there. he didn’t say much, and while langa hadn’t ever thought about that being a bad thing, he did with reki. maybe reki wanted him to be more talkative, and show more expression. maybe he got tired of being the one carrying most of their conversations. maybe he got tired of teaching skating to langa everyday, and his constant mess-ups. 

maybe he got tired of… langa. 

langa didn’t mean to villainize him, reki was probably the nicest person in the world, but his mind liked to think too much. sometimes he missed when it didn’t do that, just processed everything normally and went on with his day. 

but he wouldn’t ever take back meeting reki, or learning to skate. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


langa stared at reki’s figure, getting smaller and darker as he got farther away, farther out of langa’s reach. 

what had just happened? his mind couldn’t. couldn’t right now. had reki just… what? what had he done? what had he meant? crazy geniuses? langa wasn’t special, that was adam and cherry and joe. he had just copied them, and applied some of his snowboard techniques, and had remembered what reki had fought him.

reki… reki had left him. he’d fucked up so monumentally that reki left him. 

langa felt a sob wrack his body, hitting him so hard he crouched down on the wet pavement, trying to just  _ breathe.  _ the tears kept coming and coming and  _ coming,  _ and how long had he been out here? he was going to catch a cold, but his body just couldn’t function.

reki had left him.

langa just sat there in the rain, raindrops running down his face, disguising his tears so he couldn’t tell what was what, pavement soaking the lower half of him. shivers wracked through his body, again and again, again and again and again, and oh, god, reki had left him. 

langa had messed everything up. 

he sat there in the rain, and when he got home, langa’s mom didn’t ask what happened. just pat him down and wrapped him in a warm towel, making langa feel like he was a child again.

langa didn’t mind. 

  
  
  


~ 

  
  
  


he couldn’t focus. 

langa was competing against joe in the tournament. he’d been looking forward to this, a chance to prove himself, for  _ weeks,  _ practicing more than ever and getting his moves perfect. but… it didn’t feel right. 

the spark langa felt for skating was gone. his anchor, his tether to it, was gone. 

langa continued on. 

just because reki was gone didn’t mean he wasn’t going to win this, show adam that he wasn’t going to be deterred by some dumb ‘love hug’. 

what did it matter that his skateboard (the skateboard reki had made for him-) was broken by those shady men, langa was going to come out on top. joe’s move might’ve been impressive, but he could beat that. he could do it.

he could forget about the dull thud in his chest telling him something was wrong. the pain that felt like ice seeping through his stomach whenever he thought of that day. 

nothing was going to stop him from winning this.

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


langa heard beeping noises. 

it was coming from somewhere to his right. his ears felt hypersensitive, and the longer he lay there the louder it felt like the noises became. they didn’t stop, and they were getting faster and shit, langa just wanted it to stop. 

but as soon as he tried to find the source, his body erupted in pain.

he felt a scream rise up, but even that hurt. it was a bone deep hurt, one where every little movement burned him. his clothes were too restricting, moving on his skin. 

it hurt so much langas mind couldn’t process anything. he just lay there, feeling like his body was going to collapse in on itself. his breath quickened up as much as it could without the pain getting even worse, and while it hurt like hell, langa felt the tiniest bit better.

he heard some rustling from somewhere, then a voice that made his insides twist up tighter than he’d ever felt. “hey doc! anyone here, any nurses? yeah, hey, is there any way to turn that heart monitor off? i think it’s bothering the patient.” there were some quiet mutterings, maybe a few steps taken, then that disgusting noise quieted down, before turning off completely. 

something in langa calmed. 

he already felt… well, something. the owner of the voice calm back to where he was, sitting down and laying his head against something. langa could only tell because he had memorized every sound, every movement made by reki. and that sounded like reki. 

reki was in his… hospital room? was that the heart monitor he’d been hearing? it did smell like alcohol and whatever else made his nose burn and his eyes water. why was reki in a hospital room?  _ his  _ hospital room? 

langa still hadn’t opened his eyes. he didn’t want to, either. it was kind of nice, listening in on whatever was going on around him, like he was coated in a layer of protection. langa heard a sniff. it got a bit more muffled, like someone had covered their mouth. 

langa opened his eyes.

before he could even take in his surroundings, there was his mom, crying and holding his face and petting his hair. 

he blinked and scrunched his nose up. a headache was beginning to form, the lights were too bright in here. “langa, baby, are you ok? how do you feel? do you need anything? wh-“

“i’m ok, mom. where am i?”

her faces twisted like she wanted to start crying again, but she held it in. “you got admitted to the hospital after suffering some broken ribs, 2nd degree burns, and injuries on most of your body.” she said. 

langa blinked again. so that was why his body felt like it had been boiled alive. made sense. breathing did kind of hurt, now that he thought about it. and his hands had been bandaged. and his legs, and his neck, and up to his shoulders? what happened? 

there was a gentle hand on his mother’s shoulder, guiding her away from langa and into a hug. reki didn’t look at him, only holding his mom tight and offering some tissues.

that hurt more than any injury langa could ever get. 

he had somehow forgot about whatever was happening between them. reki apparently hadn’t, though.

langa closed his eyes and fought back the tears that had come. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


his mom left after a few hours. 

she didn’t ask about how he’d gotten the injuries, or why reki was here (reki was still here). 

his mom was like that, sometimes. she trusted langa enough to leave him to his own devices, and it made him feel like shit that he’d gone and messed that all up. she had never liked being hard on langa. the questioning and punishing was usually his dads job, anyway. 

she would probably interrogate him once they got home. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


reki was still here. 

langa didn’t know what time it was. they hadn’t said anything after his mom left, just sat in silence. 

langa was used to it, but reki wasn’t. 

langa could hear him shifting around and clearing his throat every couple of minutes, like he was uncomfortable. because he probably was. langa had closed his eyes a while ago, though. the headache had gotten worse, and his body was tired. not his mind, though. 

“you can go.” his voice sounded hoarse and scratchy, like it had been scrubbed with sandpaper, and  _ ow,  _ it hurt to talk. “if you want.” he said after another moments silence. 

“like hell i am, langa.” his heart leapt at hearing his name from those lips after weeks of silence. “i’m not leaving you after you were halfway to death.” 

he didn’t elaborate on that. reki sounded angry, angrier than that day in the rain.

“you didn’t mind leaving me then, why not now.” it probably would’ve sounded more accusing had langa not had an exhaustion settle into his body again, a new wave of tiredness. he didn’t like being injured, it put him on all sorts of heavy drugs and made him feel like crap.

reki flinched.

“that was… that was different.” he said quietly. langa wanted to cry. he took some deep breaths, hoping he’d pass out in the process, but the universe had not taken any pity on him today. 

“sure didn’t feel different, reki. you left me, for whatever reason, and that’s fine. i don’t blame you. but why come back?” his voice broke on the last few words. why did he come back? why leave langa floundering for weeks only to take care of him in the hospital, why seem angry that langa had gotten hurt? it didn’t make sense.

reki was staring at him, eyes glossy. he was sitting in a plastic chair, pulled up beside langa’s bed, crouched over himself. langa could reach out and hold reki’s hand if he wanted to.

he didn’t. 

reki took a deep, shaky breath, looking away from langa, eyes on the wall above him. “i didn’t want to leave. at all. i wanted to stay by your side, watching you skate, skate with you. i wanted to be with you. but… you don’t need me. i’ve seen the way people look at you, they act like you’re some type of god. and they’re right. langa, you’re so incredible. i’ve been skating my whole life, and i’m not anywhere near as good as you. you beat  _ joe,  _ in a  _ tournament.  _ do you know how- how amazing that is? and i’m… not. i’m not like that. i can’t keep up. you’re going to keep getting better, and i’m going to be in your shadow, just.” reki stopped abruptly, and covered his face with his hands. 

langa could see the tears leak out of his eyes, anyway. 

“i’m not good enough for you. i never was, i never will be. you’re too  _ good,  _ langa. you’re too good for me.” he was crying now, not trying to hide it. 

langa couldn’t think. he’d barely understood any of what reki had just said. reki wasn’t bad at skating, he was the best at it. yeah, langa went faster than him and used some techniques he’d learned from snowboarding when skating, but that didn’t mean anything. 

reki was… reki was phenomenal. he was always so bright and encouraging and so very  _ reki.  _ it was what langa loved about him.

“i don’t care that i’m good enough to beat joe. or anyone. i care about you.” he wanted to stay by reki’s side, not move ahead of him. “i want to stay with you.” he wanted to be with reki. no one else was enough. 

reki looked at him. “what? no.” the disgust in his voice made langa’s insides turn to ice. “why would i be with you? that can’t- that’s not how it works.” was reki homophobic? that had never once crossed langa’s mind, reki was too accepting of everyone. he still remembered talking to reki after they had first met cherry and joe, placing their bets on who would ask out who first. had he been lying? pretending to be ok with it? 

“i just wanted to be with you.” what was going on? it felt like the rain fight again, but worse. this was an all out rejection, but it felt like more than that. reki didn’t even want to entertain the idea of being with langa, let alone anything else. was this the end of their friendship? the actual end? the rain fight had felt like a blip in their path, something they’d forget about in a few months. 

but this… this was a stop. langa’s eyes burned. 

“we don’t work together. i already told you that. we can’t… do that.” langa had come to recognize every tone of voice reki used, and what it meant. reki was an expressive person, a person who his mom would say ‘wore his heart on his sleeve’. he didn’t know what this tone meant. he wasn’t angry, nor was he happy. reki sounded sad, but more than that. like he’d given up. given up on langa. “i should- i should go.” reki said.

he got up jerkily, chair flying out from under him, and went to get his bag.

langa hadn’t even realized he’d brought anything. he didn’t ask reki to stay, even though that was what he wanted to do more than anything. if reki wanted to leave, langa wasn’t going to stop him, ruin whatever was left of their friendship even more. 

reki slammed the door on the way out, just like he always did. 

langa was alone again, trying to take deep breaths, each one hurting more than the last. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


reki knew joe would find him, eventually. he always did, somehow, like a parent tracking their child. normally reki would be bothered by someone always knowing where he was, but joe was different. 

he was easygoing and chill, even when talking about topics like langa and the tournament and adam and- 

reki couldn’t think about anything right now. he looked down at his udon noodles. he didn’t know why he ordered them, his appetite was next to nothing. out of habit, maybe.

he pushed the stupid noodles away and rested his head on his forearms. joe hadn’t made them anyway, they weren’t that good. 

reki’s mind wandered back to the hospital, to langa. the way he looked at reki with his big sad eyes, like he  _ meant  _ what he’d said, about staying together. reki was in so much… shock, so much disbelief, so fucking confused, that he’d said no without thinking. it just made sense that langa was probably messing with him, telling reki the exact shit he wanted to hear. he knew logically that langa would never, he was too honest and good for that, but. how could he like reki? want to stick by  _ his  _ side, above everyone else? it was stupid. 

so, reki had left. left the torturous hospital room, where he’d been forced to look at langa’s sleeping form for hours upon hours, burned and bandaged and worse than reki had ever seen him. 

his mom had been there, as any mom should be, trying not to cry, giving reki a knowing look each time he bit at his chipped nails. he’d painted them a few weeks ago, and somehow the polish had stayed. he hadn’t had the energy to redo them. 

she’d grab his hand in hers each time he did it, too, holding them, like he hadn’t abandoned her son in the rain. like he deserved any of her kindness, or forgiveness. or anything.

reki buried his face in his hoodie. he was the fucking worst. 

a warm hand on his shoulder brought reki back to his senses, to joe’s restaurant. to joe looking at him, eyes warm and comforting. “hey, kid.” he said simply, voice deep and gruff. 

he sat down in the seat next to reki, raising his hand up for a cook, ordering something reki didn’t process. he felt a sob rise up in his throat, looking at joe. 

it felt like everything was finally catching up to him, how he’d permanently pushed away langa, once and for all. 

joe pushed a glass of water over to him, and reki registered him saying “c’mon kid, drink. you probably haven’t had anything for hours.”

he didn’t answer, because he was right.

reki took a drink, the water slighting burning his teeth. it was cold as  _ hell.  _ he didn’t mind the pain.

“y’know, you two remind me a lot of me and kaoru, back when we were your age.” his voice was light and joking, but reki heard the heaviness there, a weary tiredness. he felt that. “when we found skating, and adam, we went  _ wild  _ together, oh god. the trouble kaoru and i would get in, kid. but. we fought a lot too, even more than we do now. both cocky little shits, thought only one of us was the smartest person ever. i remember being the happiest i can remember, then the next day feeling like crap. i do not miss being a teenager, kid.” 

reki didn’t know what joe was getting at here, he and langa didn’t fight like joe and cherry did. they were like an old married couple, bickering over the dumbest things. reki and langa were more like… the aunt and uncle that weren’t in love anymore. except they hadn’t ever been in love, just happy. and reki had fucked it all up.

“anyway.” he looked back up at joe. “reki, you need to tell langa how you feel. everything. all of it. you need to tell him your feelings, before it’s too late.” joe smiled at that, albeit sadly. “don’t turn into me and kaoru, kid.” 

reki blinked. joe and cherry were awesome, though. yeah, they bickered and fought, but anyone who spent a minute in their presence saw how in love they were. joe had never given reki bad advice before, but there was a first time for everything. 

reki sighed, and even that took a lot of energy. “i- i can’t. i can’t tell langa how i feel. i just rejected him, joe, i can’t. it’s not like i’m good enough for him anyway.” joe gasped loudly, and it reminding reki of a gossiping mother, or something. he smiled a tiny bit, despite the depressing topic. 

“you WHAT?! langa confessed to you, and you rejected him?” 

“obviously.” reki was confused. “langa doesn’t need me weighing him down, joe. and it’s obvious i’m just getting in his way.”

joe had a weird expression on his face, like he wanted to fucking strangle him. “have you seen the way that boy looks at you, reki? god fuck, it’s like you hung the sun, the moon,  _ and  _ stars.” joe shook his head. “like i said, kid. talk to him. even if it’s painful, even if it ends badly, you gotta be honest. trust me on this, please.” 

  
  


reki felt tears fall. he didn’t know why, but suddenly he was crying, sobbing harder than he ever had before. joe held his arms out, and reki leaned his face into his chest, feeling strong muscles wrap around him, holding tightly. he cried like he was a small kid again, because really, he was.

reki knew he should probably be embarrassed, crying his eyes out in front of a random cook and maybe a few waiters still there, and especially in front of joe. this was a guy reki looked up to, one of the best skaters in S, and he was just staining his shirt with tears. joe’s hold hadn’t loosened though, it seemed to get tighter, trying to protect reki from the outside world. he was safe and warm and everything reki needed right now. 

“it’ll all be ok kid, i promise.” and somehow, in that moment, reki believed him. 

  
  
  


~

  
  
  


reki was trying to fix his skateboard. again.

he hadn’t been skating very often these past few weeks, but he’d somehow broken it anyway. one of the wheels had fallen off, which he guessed made sense. 

he’d been skating intensely the last few times he’d tried, putting all his weight on the board and going faster than he ever had before. he almost always crashed, and the bruises adorning his back and elbows and thighs could prove it. 

reki’s body felt like it was in a constant state of soreness, always in pain. he didn’t think about how it felt like more than just simple bruisers and body pains, about how it was an ache in his chest, slowly ripping him apart. how it felt like he was walking through life in a daze, not being able to focus. how, at the thought of everything he’d done, to langa, to everyone, a scream would rise up in his throat. 

reki looked back at the screwdriver in his hand, felt his hand begin to shake and registered how much his eyes were burning. 

he was such a fucking mess, crying even after  _ he  _ was the one who messed everything up. every time reki finally stopped just  _ thinking,  _ for even a moment, his brain would remember the look on langa’s face in the hospital, when reki had said no. 

he’d had a soft expression, wistful, like he was thinking of something fae from where they were, stuck in a sterile smelling hospital. 

reki tried to remember that, not the way the happiness had drained out of his eyes immediately after reki had rejected him, or how sad and small he looked, curled up in a bed, wearing a shirt too big on him. reki felt a pang in his heart. 

he missed langa. more than  _ anything.  _ more than skating. 

he blinked, and felt the tears slide down his face, falling onto his hoodie and darkening a few spots. manager oka was in the room next door, and the walls were thin, and reki really could not handle someone asking him ‘are you ok?’ right now. 

there was an abrupt knock on the door, making reki jump up and scramble to wipe the tears away, hoping his eyes weren’t red. 

he recognized that knock. two quick, soft taps on the door. reki stayed silent for a few seconds, hoping langa would think no one was here and walk away. there were another two knocks. 

“reki?” he called out, and  _ fuck,  _ why was his voice so soft? he talked as if reki hadn’t ruined everything. “let me in, please.” langa’s voice almost broke on the last syllable. 

there was more waiting, while reki contemplated the meaning of life, and why it fucking hated him so much. 

then he heard footsteps. for a split second, reki thought that maybe langa had taken the hint and walked away, but then he heard voices. they were too quiet and muffled for him to hear anything through the door, but reki recognized them well enough to know it was oka talking to langa. he waited.

reki heard the jangling of the keys oka kept in his pocket, and the door finally opened. 

langa looked better. it had been a few days, maybe a week, he didn’t really know anymore, but it seemed that most of langa’s injuries had just been wrapped in thick medical bandages, aside from his face, which had those big square bandaids on. he looked cute in them, which was probably not an appropriate thought for reki to have. he was walking too, but reki saw the crutches that were on the wall. 

reki looked at langa, who was standing in the doorway awkwardly, like he didn’t know what to do. 

he still remembered seeing him passed out on the track after racing against adam, still remembered his wounds that had been steadily getting worse, the  _ burns.  _ reki remembered hearing the crack when his bones broke too. he remembered running to to langa, being the first one there, somehow not passing out too. holding him in his arms, waiting for something,  _ someone,  _ to tell him what to do because reki didn’t know. he didn’t know what was going on, or why langa was fucking covered in burns, for gods sake, and how many ribs he’d cracked.

reki had just held him for what felt like hours, trying to protect him from anything else. if he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was one of those rare nights where they’d fallen asleep together on reki’s bed at home, too tired to move away from each other. 

at one point, he’d opened his eyes, and they were in shadow’s car. langa was still in his arms, and miya was in the front seat, silent for once. joe and cherry were next to him, in essentially the same position as reki and langa. he’d looked over at joe, who’s eyes somehow still sparkled at night, even though two of their friends were injured, and no one knew how hurt they were. joe hadn’t said anything, but reki knew.

so he closed his eyes again, and buried his face in langa’s hair, because no one was going to tell him off for it. langa smelled like cucumbers and cotton and sweat and probably blood, but reki didn’t give a shit. his hair was somehow still soft. so reki just breathed in langa for the very quiet, very tense ride to the hospital, trying not to think. 

he didn’t get any sleep that night. he rarely ever did, nowadays.

“reki?” he jumped and looked back up at langa, who had been patiently waiting while reki was fucking remenicing or whatever. “are you ok?” he asked. 

reki was torn between yelling at him, hugging him, or kissing the life out of him. he settled for none. “i should be asking you that. why aren’t you in the hospital? you should be sleeping off the pain or however it works.” 

fuck, he didn’t want to remember the hospital. reki didn’t know if he could ever go back to one of those, not knowing what had happened to langa. tainted, just like everything else in his life langa had left his mark on.

“i, uh. i couldn’t sleep.” langa sounded confused, like he didn’t know why he’d left. 

“you couldn’t sleep, so you came to our work place? at night?” why was langa here? why did he not seem mad at reki? why… why? 

“yeah, um, i think so. i wanted to get my board fixed.” reki hadn’t noticed that langa was holding something, but now that he looked, yeah, langa had been holding a bag of his board’s remains.

“langa, it was snapped clean in half. i… i don’t think i can fix that. or if anyone can.”

langa looked like he had just received the news his grandmother was dying, devastated and not quite comprehending what he’d been told. he looked down at the splintered pieces in his hands, gripping them like his life depended on it. “but. it’s my board. it’s the board you made me.” langa took in a soft breath. “i can’t. i can’t let it go.” 

reki was kissing him. langa. reki was kissing langa, hands holding his face tightly, so tight it probably hurt, but langa didn’t react to it.

he just… stood there. for 10 seconds, 20, 30. 

reki ignored the pang in his chest, the way it ripped through him, so hard that he felt like doubling over. it was ok. he didn’t deserve langa anyway, never did. it was fine. reki would be fine. 

reki heard langa setting the broken board down on his work table, and the next moment he was kissing reki back. 

and… it felt right. safe. no fireworks or earthquakes or eye-opening love confessions, it just felt like home, the way everything with langa did. he smelled fresher now, more like cucumbers and cotton, and  _ langa,  _ and fuck, reki had missed him. missed him so much.

he wrapped his arms around langa’s neck, never once letting go. langa’s grip on his waist tightened, pushing reki more securely into his arms. the weight over his shoulders lifted, the longer he was in his work room, kissing langa. little by little, the defeat, it left him.

langa pulled away, taking a breath. he started walking forward, causing reki to lean against the wall. langa got nearer. 

reki wrapped his legs around him, wanting to be closer, wanting  _ him.  _ to touch, feel him in his arms after so many weeks. langa hissed in pain a little, and reki remembered that he was literally  _ injured.  _

he adjusted his hold until langa’s face smoothed out. 

langa was warm, and his hair was soft, as always, and he was wearing an old hoodie he’d probably stolen from reki, and he was smiling. their faces were only millimeters apart, not wanting to leave each other’s space for any longer than necessary.

it was reki who closed the distance between them again, kissing langa, again, and again, and  _ again,  _ because he could, because he’d been wanting to for so long he could barely stand it. 

they were both smiling, causing teeth to clank and noses to bump, but neither of them cared. langa’s lips were soft, and they tasted like mint. his hold on reki was tight, tighter than he’d ever felt someone hold him. 

it was nice. they stood there for a few more minutes, kissing and smiling and trying not to laugh, before reki said, “i’m sorry.” he whispered it into langa’s neck, because although they definitely weren’t fighting anymore, he was still scared. and a coward. 

langa’s shoulder was warm. he could fucking feel langa frowning, the one where his eyebrows would furrow and his mouth would slightly pinch up, like he was pouting. reki called it his ‘soft angry’. 

“you didn’t do anything, reki. i messed up somehow. i wanna try and fix it. i just want to be with you.” his eyes started burning again. he had missed langa so,  _ so  _ much. 

“you… i feel like you’re so much better at everything than me. like i don’t deserve to be with you, skating or just- in general, i guess.” reki didn’t really know what was bothering him anymore, it had all just swirled around in his brain enough that everything, all his problems and insecurities and thoughts, mushed together to create something it felt like reki couldn’t escape from. “i don’t want to be a support character, i want to be even with you, i want to be with you, by your side. i don’t feel like i can, though.” he was trying to explain it as simply as he could, everything was too much.

langa tilted his head, hands moving all over reki’s body. it felt nice, a gentle pressure that was like a mini hug. his hands stopped in reki’s hair, and langa started running his fingers through it, gently trying to tug out the knots. he looked confused. “i didn’t realize- i didn’t know that you thought that. i’m sorry. no.” he said, seeing reki’s face at his apology. “reki, i still didn’t talk to you and figure out what was going on. i’m so sorry. i wish i could’ve helped you more.” he tightened his hold on him. 

reki felt another smile coming on, they couldn’t seem to stop. his cheeks would probably hurt soon. “it’s… it’s ok, langa. i’ll figure it out.” 

he pulled langa closer, giving him a soft peck, except langa didn’t pull away. they just stood together, lips not moving, and it was nice. 

“i’m helping too.” he was talking against reki’s lips, voice soft and reassuring. it rumbled through reki’s chest. “uh- if you want it. i want to help you.”

“i want to be with you.” reki replied. 

he was tired, and finally with langa, kissing langa, holding him, and reki just wanted to lay down with him. they could figure out everything else later, talk more. skate together again. 

be by each other’s side, together. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so so much for reading i’m really proud of this one 
> 
> also i still write kiribaku !! just in case anyone’s worried about that , i just have a big project going on with a friend so it’s a little harder to write my own fics but i am working on them !! just trust me <3 
> 
> follow my twitter @B4KUG0USB0Y because i’m gay also i changed my twitter handle and i think we should celebrate


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